and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
