i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
