I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
