At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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