Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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