i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
accomplished twins. life is a go
In America we eat man semen.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
