Little spoons don't ask big questions
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
