I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
