margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
