omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Every concussion has its silver lining
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
