No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
