so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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