He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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