I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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