i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
not ubering you a puppy
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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