Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
