I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
