The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
