How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
