once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
