carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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