Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
its not stalking. its research.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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