i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
