went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
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