At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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