is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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