i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
