What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I lost the right to judge tonight
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
