You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
did i just pee glitter
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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