dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
