You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm bleeding and have questions
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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