Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
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