Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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