ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
