And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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