She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
