A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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