I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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