Your tits are I can't wait for
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
should my penis look like a turkey
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
