Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
