Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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