So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
