whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
