I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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