she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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