I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
