Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
