OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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