You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
