My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
