He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
