The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
