We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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