I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
