this beer tastes like vomit already
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
