i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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