I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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