can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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