I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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