I think my vagina is haunted
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
