well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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