What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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