He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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