Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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