id be glad to
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
