office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
